This post was originally posted in 2008. I am currently on vacation from blogging. I will return by August 1, 2012. Have a fabulous summer!

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While riding in the car this morning my daughter began to ask some really good questions about a belief system which teaches its practitioners to control themselves based largely on externals. Their primary focus is on how they dress.

My eleven year old has been reading a book entitled Plain Girl. It has sparked a lot of questions in her. YAY for that!

I can get on my soapbox pretty fast over things like this because I believe that it is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE for one person to control another persons heart attitudes – at all. It can’t be done with a list. It can’t be done with the right friends. It can’t be done living in the right setting. It has to come from inside each individual person.

This isn’t about any one particular belief system. It’s about our human desire to create formulas. If I’m wearing the plainest clothing and keeping my adornments uninteresting, I can STILL feel vain and prideful over the length of my eyelashes, or the tone of my skin or the direction my knees point when I walk. Pride comes from the inside. That same pride can also come disguised when it makes me say to myself, “Well. At least my _____ isn’t as ____ as ____.” or “I’m so much more ____ than ______.” blechhhhhhhhhh

So – NO. We can’t control our children’s hearts by controlling anything. We can talk about what’s right and wrong and we can pray for them to understand. Then we have to live a life that demonstrates that we believe what we’re saying.

Will that guarantee that they turn out like we hoped? No. But, really I’m not responsible for who they choose to become. I’m responsible to show them honestly who I am and to help them grow up with the knowledge that they have the ability to choose well.

I sure hope at least one of them chooses to love knitting!