Category Archives: gardening

“Remember spring swaps snow for leaves”

The song Winter Winds by Mumford and Sons is currently lodged in my head and has been replaying since I woke up to the 28 degree temperatures yesterday morning.

That’s right.  Twenty Eight.  May 22nd.   Less than two weeks ago we had a couple of days that hit 90.

I was making mojito’s and enjoying them with my neighbors.

Two. Weeks. Ago.

Yesterday it snowed.

(Picture my stoic expression right about now)

Sure…the snow didn’t stick.  BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT.

Back to Mumford and Sons.  

Mumford & Sons, seen during a liver performanc...

Mumford & Sons at Brighton Dome, Brighton, East Sussex. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am taking comfort in the knowledge that I will be seeing them live in exactly four (4) days.

This will actually be the first time I’ve ever gone to see a band that I am truly nutty over.   Not sure what to expect from myself.  HA

But, at the very least, I expect to see more leaves and LESS SNOW from now through October.

I’m speaking it to the universe!

;-)

Parenting is like Gardening. Part 2

 

This is part two of a Two-part post. Click here for Part 1.
These posts were originally written and posted in 2008.

I am on a blogging vacation until August 1, 2012. Hope you’re having a great summer!

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When my son was little (under 1 year) I was seriously into reading books on child training. Several of them said things like, “Do the hard work now to instill the right habits and your life will be easier when they are teenagers.”

It felt like wisdom to heed those words. So – with the horrible goal of making MY life easier I set out to nip everything in the bud.

I learned how to spank effectively [don't get me started on how big a mistake that was!] and to train the child to put his stuff away before moving on to a new project. I tried to institute mandatory devotions (I gave that up pretty early on, too).

You get the picture.

Well – fast forward 15 years. He a great person! I love him dearly and he’s a total hoot. But, he almost never puts anything away unless I remind him (which was NOT the case when he was 6 and 7) his room is a disaster (which was also not the case when he was 6 and 7) and he is just plain messy!

I was training that out of him!! The books said!!!!

Frankly, those books are selling a dream which is only realized when you have kids whose temperaments already fit the outcome.

Like gardening: If I plant a sun-loving plant in the sun, it’s kind of silly of me to credit myself when it blooms. OR, I can plant a sun-loving plant in the shade and try to force it to be a shade loving plant….but that plant will still need SUN. I can try to prune a rose to look like a boxwood hedge and it’s still going to be a rose with it’s tendency to be very branch-y and decidedly UNboxwood-like.

I guess the point here is to focus on figuring out who our children are and helping them learn to be responsible and caring individuals, but do it for THEM and not for your future ‘ease’.

I believed those kooky book authors when they said “What he is at 2 he’ll be at 12, if you’re not careful.” WRONG!! Give the kids some credit for having the sense to know that acting like a 2 yo is only effective for 2 year olds (and even then it doesn’t work well). Most teens (including my own) still have days when they’re immature and ignorant and rude and irritating. It’s part of the process.

[Update: Now that my kids are 14 and 20] Overall, they are respectful and willing to admit when they’re wrong and even fairly quick to come to me and apologize when they’ve been rude.

Should I view their flaws as failure on MY part? NOPE. Just as I should not view their strengths as having anything to do with what a great parent I am. It’s important to be big enough to step away and see the kids as individuals and not as trophies or badges of honor. They are people.They are each different and we need to do the work of knowing each of them individually and living with them accordingly and respectfully.

 

Parenting Is Like Gardening. Part 1

This is part one of a two-part post originally written in 2008. I’m currently taking a blogging vacation. I’ll be back by August 1, 2012. Have a great summer!

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Frankly, I don’t really know why I’m even doing this. We’re dull folk. Who’d even care to know what I think? I’ll just blog away and hope I reach my niche.

I can’t even explain how incredible the potential for my roses looks this year. They are virtually covered with buds. One is even ready to bloom (Therese Bugnet – a fabulous rugosa who is thriving in our high desert climate). I expect to see actual blooms on her by tomorrow. woo hoo!

I planted a rose today that has virtually NO information with it except that its name is Spanish Sun. [update 2012: I found this.] Why did I buy it? Because bees were passing out when they flew by!! The fragrance is THAT strong. She appears to be a shrub rose but I cannot find any information about her online. [Update: Turned out to be a floribunda.] The blooms are a deep yellow and fade to a light buttery yellow as they age. The leaves have a reddish tint to the edges. I hope she can handle our winters – we’ll see. [Update: She couldn't.] Maybe I’ll be willing to get out and do the hard labor of winterizing her if she proves to be worth all that work. [Update: I wasn't.]

My kids (especially my son) keep asking when I’ll be done spending so much time in the yard. hahahahahahahahahahaha… they’re obviously NOT gardeners.

Seriously, though. I think he’s having a tough time (and so am I for that matter) shifting into this period of his life where I play less and less of a role in the hourly day-to-day of his world. He was my only child for the first 7 years and he was also very much my little buddy. We’re very similar in so many ways (I’ve apologized to him for his having so many of my traits…) and it frequently makes my hubby laugh to watch the two of us. Anyway – he’s 16 and I see incredible potential in him. He’s so capable but he’s still fragile. He wants to be out in the wide world…but we’re easing him into that.

I’ve heard several negative comments over the years comparing homeschoolers to greenhouse plants. The truth is that greenhouse plants are fine while in the safety of the environment they were grown in, but if you set them out without a transition, they quickly either die or struggle for the length of their days.

I’ve seen it in my own garden.

The little plants need to be ‘hardened off’ to survive in the real climate and withstand the weather and the wind and the temperatures. Children need similar treatment. Allow them (as each year progresses) to have more and more contact with the hard facts of life – some ugly and some wonderful. It’s their hardening off period.

Part 2