I did not have an idyllic childhood. There were moments that were pure and sweet and others that were filled with raw gut-wrenching pain. I’m not suggesting that my childhood was uniquely bad, though. It was just not exactly stable. I don’t like mentioning it. It’s done. Nothing can change those years. My sweet Mother reads my blog and I know she wrestles with her own pain over how those years unfolded – so I don’t want to add fresh hurt for her either.
I’m not telling you any of this so that you’ll feel sorry for me or lash out with nasty comments about the choices my parents did/didn’t make. Stuff happens. Regrets remain. ’nuff said. I tell you these things simply because I needed to lay that out that backstory to give you some idea what must have been happening in my heart and mind as I faced this particularly memorable Christmas in the 1970′s.
During my early teens my Father remarried. While he continued to live and work rather far away from his new family, my brother and I spent a while living with neither of our parents and fending for ourselves (emotionally) while living under our Step-Mother’s roof. I choose to believe that she did care about my brother and I but with four kids of her own (two older than us and two younger) she had her hands full already.
Like any 13 year old girl, I was looking forward to Christmas. The only item on my wish list: curling iron. Nothing else. Just a curling iron. I was finally going to have that Farrah Fawcett hair!
It was about a week before Christmas, 1975, I had just turned 13 a few days earlier. A package arrived for my brother and I. It was from our Grandparents (Nanny and PawPaw). I pulled the individually wrapped gifts from the box placed them under the tree with the few other gifts that were there.
I shook the box that had my name on it. It was an odd rattling. Probably not a curling iron. *sigh* But I was good with that. My step mom had been told what I wanted and I felt pretty sure she’d come through.
Christmas morning arrives. I have my meager little pile next to me and I begin unwrapping one of two boxes that are most closely curling-iron-shaped. I decide to open Nanny and PawPaw’s first. Peeling back the wrapping I’m greeted by the face of Twiggy. Hmmm. “I wonder what this means. Perhaps they used a Twiggy box to confuse me. Very clever.”
Inside the box I find… a used set of steak knives. Oh yeah. I was confused alright!
At first I was as disappointed as any 13yo who had no interest in steak knives OR Twiggy. Within minutes I was giggling and then laughing over the ridiculousness of the situation. I’m not sure when I began to approach major disappointment this way. It’s one of the few things about myself that I wouldn’t change. The worse the situation the funnier I find it. The trivialities of an average day don’t have anywhere NEAR the same effect. Those have a way of producing a raging lunatic…or perhaps it’s these damnable menopause hormones (they get blamed for everything right now).
ANYWAY – back to Christmas. I did get the curling iron, some strawberry perfume, lip gloss, a flannel plaid shirt (yeah – that one was odd, too but doesn’t even come close to the steak knives) and a couple of Grateful Dead cassette tapes. So – while not a terrible Christmas it was definitely memorable.
What was your oddest Christmas gift?
Editing to add: I recently learned of this contest over at Hooked and Happy so I’m adding this post.
Thanks for joining in. Amusing story, you have to wonder what they were thinking.
oh believe me…I’ve wondered for a longlong time.
This was a really good post, Robin.
Thank you friend!!!
We were at my in-laws and they had invited a little old lady (is there a theme here?) from church to join us. I, for some reason which I imagine had to do with politeness, received a gift which contained a small metal pitchfork-like implement.
Feigning gratefulness I remarked, “Why, thank you.”
Little Old Lady, “You have no idea what it is, do you?”
Me, “Why, no…. No I don’t.”
Little Old Lady, “It’s a pickle fork!”
Maybe, like your steak knives, it was used. I have no idea.
I think the lesson to be learned here is this: Old Ladies should not give Christmas Presents unless it is money NOT in a tampon box, saltine box or any other kind of box. When in doubt, a card will do.
You are so right! I’m feeling that it’s probably time for me to consider making the switch to $ gifts. heh
Robin, great post. Interesting how the bigger the disappointment, the bigger the laugh. I like that about you.
I can’t really remember any odd gifts… my grandmother ended up with 48 grandchildren so she did a lot of case load shopping.
Anyway, it was fun reading all of yours.
48?! OH MY. I can’t even imagine how much work it would be to keep track of those birthdays.
Hmm there were several weird ones but the one I remember was a extra extra large weirdly coloured sweatshirt ( think rainbow neons) with a hippo in a tutu on the front saying hug me… From my mil who said she saw it and thought of me…
Okayyyyy…
LOL. Maybe it’s best not to know why that shirt conjured thoughts of YOU. wow. It’d be hard not to feel a little offended.
FWIW – based on the little I know of you via your beautiful blog – hippos in tutus never come to mind.
Oh, my gosh, how I loved this post!
First off, you had me on the edge of my seat, hoping against hope that you’d get that curling iron.
THANK GOD you did!!! I’ll sleep better tonight.
Second?
STEAK KNIVES????
REALLY???
Man, that’s lunacy. Or criminal. Maybe criminal.
OR…
Maybe Nanny was trying to help you be prepared for the menopausal years in which you would
FEEL LIKE STABBING EVERY IDIOT WHO MESSED WITH YOU!!!!!
Did you ever think of THAT ONE??? Hmm???
(Of course not. That’s why God gave you me!)
LOL. Nanny probably thought there really was a Twiggy doll in the box. Bless her heart.
I saw a funny quote yesterday that said something like, “I haven’t noticed that I’ve experienced any true menopausal symptoms. But I have noticed that people are sure doing a lot more stupid and irritating stuff than they used to.” heh heh
YES. God did give me YOU. I’m so glad!!!
Sorry for posting twice. I thought it didn’t go through. I now see that you have your comments set up so that the latest posts are on top. Silly me.
No worries. I’ll remove the duplicate.
My family didn’t celebrate Christmas, so I don’t have any stories to tell.
Just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed reading this post.
Were there religious reasons for not celebrating or am I being too nosy?
Well, the reason they gave was, ‘We’re not Christians.’ I accepted that. So imagine my surprise when I found out that non-Christians celebrate Christmas, too!
Our big celebration was Chinese New Year.
I am sure I had a few but the one that stands out for me was a box of saltines from my grandma. Just like you, I thought maybe the box was just that, a box! But no…it really did have saltine crackers in it. The back story is…My grandma was very ill with cancer and whenever I was at her house I had strict orders not to bug her. I would sometimes walk there after school if my mom wasn’t going to be home. Because I was always hungry and I knew where the saltines were, I would ask for them. My brother (who was 5 years older) got mac-n-cheese (for the same reason) for Christmas. She wanted to give us something just for us and thought these must be our favorite food. I was jealous of the mac-n-cheese.
Do you have fond feelings for saltines as a result?
That’s pretty funny. You’re right that the mac-and-cheese sounds better!
I love this story.
My brother had a Stretch Armstrong and we also eventually popped it to see what was inside.
I don’t remember any bad gifts.
I do remember that for my first Christmas with my ex-husband his dad gave him a hundred dollar bill–hidden inside a box of tampons. It was in a tampon, if I remember correctly.
In a tampon? Hmmm. Sounds like something Dwight Schrute would think was funny, too.
Well that is an odd gift.
My brother got a stretch armstrong one year. I couldn’t take not knowing what was in it so when he wasn’t home I stabbed it with a plastic comb till it oozed it’s inside out. Not an odd gift, but an odd story!
Oh that’s funny. I’m guessing he wasn’t too happy with you.