My kids make me laugh. They, like most kids, have a talent for figuring out what will tickle the giggler of their parents.
Sometimes they do it by accident: Once Batman and Boy Wonder were on their way to their favorite fishing spot when Batman pulled off the road and stopped beside a lake that was on the road to “their” lake. He and Boy Wonder walked for a few steps and Batman pointed out the signs that read “Catch and Release Only. Fish from this lake is not safe for human consumption” (or something like that). Naturally Boy Wonder (who was around six years old) wanted to know what that was all about. Batman explained that this body of water was contaminated with mercury. Boy Wonder thought about this for a split second, brightened and exclaimed, “And Saturn!”
Other times the kids make an effort to amuse: Bat Girl and I occasionally splurge and go out for lunch. On this particular day we were eating our lunch at home but her lunch happened to be the second half of the foot-long sub sandwich from our outing the day before. I was eying her beautiful leftovers and commented that they looked like something I might even be tempted to steal if she weren’t careful. Without hesitating or blinking she calmly held my gaze while carefully picking up that gorgeous six inches of sub-limity, licked the entire surface and dropped it back on her plate.
Yep. These people have kept me chuckling for almost 20 years now.
I could never have dreamed them up. My best imaginings about who my kids would be and who they actually turned out to be were like the difference between imagining the ocean for years and then finally seeing it for yourself.
I was never one of those women who was adamant about becoming a parent. I was ambivalent about it in the early years of our marriage until I finally found out I was expecting. In my younger days I rarely babysat and babies didn’t make me get all gooey and silly. My own Mother heard me say, countless times, “I’m never having kids!” So, for me, being willing to think happy thoughts about Motherhood was big.
I’m so glad that I was too stupid to really follow through on those assertions that I was never having kids. My kids are just about the best thing that I’ve done for my whole life!
Now, while staring menopause in the eye, I’m going to have a few years of thumb-twiddling and hot flashes to keep me occupied while I figure out what to do with the rest of my life after Bat Girl graduates High School in four years.